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alycia
if we ever meet again
wont let you get away




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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
vielleicht wurde ich nicht so traurig, wenn ich nicht so viel auf dich verlassen.

hahah having my second german semester test tmr, thats why i must practise my german!
and after the test tmr, i will officially be done with german for this semester so yeps, i hope the paper is not too hard tmr.

i am trying hard to look at life a little more positively now. i have to admit this past few months have been hard. trying to adjust to uni life, trying to meet all the never ending assignments as well as grappling with my own emotional roller coaster. i guess the hardest of all is cope with all the changes happening around me. i keep reminding myself to let go, to not be so insistent on things, but its really not easy! (otherwise i wont be so unhappy haha) but its ok!,i am just more lousy than others at adapting to changes. i am going to keep reminding myself not to expect anything anymore and hopefully life's going to be a little easier.

i think i have been wallowing in self pity and despair for far too long already. i keep looking back at the past and wish things wont change. please drill it into me that nothing is going to remain stagnant. so MOVE ON! no more crying at night, no more lamenting. we may go on our seperate paths now, but i will be happy for you!

despite everything, i cant get the lousy feeling out of me. and its like a time bomb in me, waiting to explode at every possible moment. i need something. but i dun know what. maybe a huge cry or a really heated quarrel with someone. maybe i should go watch a really really sad movie. and hopefully everything will be alright again.

i want to scream and shout at you what i really feel. but i guess that night is the closest you can get.


rah!!!!!!! hopefully i can go sleep and tmr, everything will be fine.maybe the monster in me will be gone tmr. hopefully.

XOXO 9:28 PM