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alycia if we ever meet again wont let you get away Credits Basecodes: lil.queens Layout: acryliclove |
Friday, May 19, 2006 and i hate it. what i wouldnt give to get out of this. do u have the feeling that somtimes, the more u know, the worse u feel? that is exactly the feeling i am experiencing now. somehow the more i find out abt stuff, the more horrible i feel. i dun want to find out about things anymore esp when they make me sad. sometimes, i wish i were the kid at AWWA. cos if i were the autistic kid at AWWA, i will be in my own world. a world that belongs to me and me alone. i dun have to bother about what other people think and i wouldnt have a sense of what is gg on around me. maybe its better to be ignorant.everything, everybody is changing. for goodness sake stop taking me for granted. i have feelings too.i cant grasp on. i hate this feeling i have been carrying around for the past few days. the feeling of heaviness in your chest which refuse to subside, when emotions get out of hand at the slightest provokation and eyes water. and the feeling of wanting to cry, but the tears just wouldnt come. i wish someone would just give me a good tight slap and harsh words, just so that i can cry. cos i might just explode at the chest if i dun. and econs lesson doesnt help either. hml keeps berating me. and when she does i feel like crying, screaming and shouting at her but instead i kept quiet. her words are like heavy stones, adding weight on to the already too heavy chest. i guess its true that i pretty much keep things to myself. but i really cant tell anyone. i wish i could tell someone what happened to my home, i wish i could tell someone what really is bothering me, i wish i could tell someone what i really want. but there is no one such someone. i want to cry in someone's shoulders and let it all out, to let out everything that has been bugging me since i was 5 or 6. but there is no one. so for now, everyhting still has to be bottled up. XOXO 11:00 PM |